Hare Today . . .

So once again I headed off in the early morning for my walk. “My meandering mile” as I liked to call it because it was never a straight line by intention. Up the lane from Paddy’s Puddle, a small lake, there was a tall hedgerow with a gate in the middle. Now, unknown to me at that time, rabbits and hares were not the same animal, I always thought Hares were simply male rabbits!

So anyway, as I approached the gate I heard a metallic ‘thunk’. I peeered around the hedgerow and saw a slightly wobbly wabbit shaking it’s head. I’d obviously spooked him and he’d attempted to jump through the rungs of the gate, not quite making it cleanly. He was rubbing his head with his front paws while standing upright on his back.

“You did this you know? It’s your fault” said the rubbing rabbit.

I searched the area, before answering, in case this was some kind of trick, but saw no one, no cameras. Maybe it was the medication I was taking.

“Did you just say something?”

He looked up “Do you see anybody else?” he asked.

“Er . . . no.”

“There you go then.”

“How could it possibly be my fault?”

“It just is, you’re human aren’t you?”

I was shocked, he was blaming me for his sore head, I’d met a totally unreasonable rabbit.

“I may be human but I’m not stupid. It was nothing to do with me. I resent your implication . . . rabbit.”

That did it. He put his paws on his hips and stared right into my eyes.

“You see, stupid human! You can’t even tell the difference between a rabbit and a hare.”

I felt the blush flush spread across my face. “You’re right, I’m sorry. You’re a hare then huh?”

“Indeed I am. I’m master of my domain.” he said stretching his arms wide.

“Except the gate.”

He looked at me and then burst out in hare raising laughter.

“Well yes . . . I suppose . . . except the gate.”

I moved forward and bent down, reaching through the bars, hand extended.

“My name is Alan, my friends call me Al.”

The hare hopped forward and shook my hand with his right paw.

“Horace, my friends call me Horace the hare.”

I stood and gestured toward the wall. “Come have a chat and I’ll check the bump on your head.”

Horace glanced around before stepping delicately through the lower bar of the gate. He jumped up on the wall beside me. He looked up at me and I looked down at him.

“Well, this is first.” He said

“It is for me too.” I said bending down to look at the cricket ball sized bump on his noggin.

I wasn’t a doctor or vet but concluded there was no damage done, other than ego.

“So, how long have you been talking?” I asked.

‘Oh, let me think. All my life, you?”

Just then we heard a car approaching from across the bay, heading our direction, probably going to the beach.

“Car comin’.” I said not really knowing why.

“Yes, I am a hare you know. I heard it two miles back.”


“Hard to drive those things, is it?” he asked.

“Nah, like riding a bicycle.”

“Good analogy, thanks for that.” he said sounding pissed off.

I felt a bit guilty, sounding like I was more superior than this obviously intelligent hare.

“Listen, you’d better skip . . . the car and all.”

“Funny man, skip . . . hare hare . . . .” he said laughing as he went under the gate once more.

“Will I see you again?” I asked hoping he’d say yes.

“I’m sure . . ..” was all he said hopping away.

I headed up the hill to continue my walk, so far it had been a good hare day.